Some people live for a calendar filled with dinner reservations, wine nights, and workout classes. But for anyone who isn’t a social butterfly, the constant work of starting (and maintaining) conversations can be less fun and more draining.
Experiencing this kind of burnout doesn’t necessarily mean you’re shy, “lame,” or socially anxious. Rather, social exhaustion (also known as an introvert hangover) is your body’s natural way of telling you that it needs a break, Laurie Helgoe, PhD, associate clinical professor of psychology at Augsburg University and author of Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength, tells SELF. “When you interact with other people, you’re processing a lot of information, and if there’s too much at once, it’s no wonder you’ll be overwhelmed or find it hard to relax,” Dr. Helgoe says.
In many cases, the solution is simple: Get some alone time. But not all self-care is created equal, which is why we asked experts for the most nourishing and fastest ways to recharge your social battery.
1. Read or watch something fictional.
Sometimes your brain just needs a break from reality, in which case a mindless fictional escape can help. “Dive into a captivating mystery, fantasy, or romance novel, or get lost in your favorite movie or TV show,” Dr. Helgoe recommends. Not only can this boost your mood when you’re tired and cranky after something like an hours-long networking event, but immersing yourself in a make-believe world can also give your mind a chance to detach from the very real stressors of everyday life—like last night’s family drama or an intense vent session with a friend.
2. Get outside and move around.
After a busy social day, switching up your surroundings can be surprisingly restorative, according to Dr. Helgoe. The next time you’re craving alone time, ditch the bed rotting and go for a midday stroll along a scenic route. Or if you live in a bustling city, you can just sit on a park bench and listen to your favorite songs. Whatever you do, the point is that stepping outside even momentarily gives your brain a physical and mental break from that constant stimulation. On top of that, research also shows that exposure to green spaces can boost happiness and lower stress.
3. Reframe exhaustion as a sign that you had fun.
After listening to your coworker ramble on about their favorite hockey team or watching your friend swipe through 20 photos of their “adorable” dog, it’s no wonder you might be irritable, checked out, and itching to get away from everyone.
“Our brains are quick to zoom in and ruminate on the lowlights,” Ellen Hendriksen, PhD, a psychologist at Boston University’s Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders and author of How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety, tells SELF. The problem with replaying these negative moments, though, is you’re also reliving that stress and frustration—which is why she recommends reframing your fatigue a little more positively.
If you’re wiped out from answering a million surface-level questions on a date, remind yourself that it’s just part of getting to know each other. Or after a draining family visit with toxic relatives, try focusing on any positives, Dr. Helgoe suggests, whether it was a good dinner or the chance to catch up with your favorite cousin. That way, your happy memories—and not how annoying everyone is—remain the focal point.
4. Unwind with friends or family in a low-key way.
Recharging your social battery doesn’t mean you have to be a complete hermit for the foreseeable future. If you’re craving some form of connection or battling FOMO—but you know a boozy brunch or crowded shopping district is the last place you should be—just pick an activity or place that’s more low-key, Dr. Helgoe suggests.
For example, you can order your favorite sushi to-go instead of waiting 45 minutes for a table. Another great, low-stimulation option is going to the movies: “You sit there in silence, next to each other, and then you have the chance to talk about what you watched afterward,” Dr. Helgoe says. “It’s just this shared, lovely quiet.”
5. Finally, don’t force yourself to relax in a way that doesn’t feel natural.
If you’re a homebody who hates the smell of grass, then don’t drag yourself on a nature walk. If you find more comfort in horror films than breezy rom-coms, watch Sinners instead of Love Actually. “The specific activity is less important than whether or not it’s freely chosen,” Dr. Hendriksen says. “When we see recovery as something we have to do, then it can become a chore.”
Again, there’s nothing wrong with taking a step back from even your closest friends and family. It’s normal to crave periods of solitude regardless of who you’re with. In fact, the key to savoring your time together is striking a balance—and a post-socializing recovery plan can help ensure you show up as your best self at the next meetup.
Related:
- How to Feel Like You Have More Free Time Even If You Don’t
- A Guide to Doing Nothing for People Who Are Really Bad at It
- How to Feel Less Depleted by the End of the Workweek
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